


Could've Been Fun

by 7_Magpies



Series: Shyan Song Fics [1]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a sad ending, I Made Myself Cry, I'll fix it though I promise, M/M, So much angst, Song fic, Song: the 1 (Taylor Swift), what was that? song fics aren't cool anymore? I don't care
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:48:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25629979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7_Magpies/pseuds/7_Magpies
Summary: Ryan has a girlfriend now, and Shane is fine. Really, he is.He's not remembering all the times he and Ryan had.He's not regretting everything he did wrong.This is a song fic based on "the 1" by Taylor Swift. Look, the Folklore album is a'ight. But this song got me in my Feels.Edit: the next work in this series is the happy ending to this fic!
Relationships: Ryan Bergara & Shane Madej, Ryan Bergara/OFC, Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Series: Shyan Song Fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1857880
Comments: 20
Kudos: 71





	Could've Been Fun

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I have so much respect for Shane and Ryan, they are wonderful people and I love them. These events have not happened, and they are not a couple. This is fiction.

_ “Been doing good I’m on some new shit.  _

_ Been saying ‘yes’ instead of ‘no.’” _

“Are you sure you’re okay, man? You’ve seemed kind of out of it lately.”

Shane looked up at Steven and smiled. “Yeah, man. I’m fine. Lot going on, you know?”

Steven nodded, not completely believing him but knowing better than to try and find out more.

Shane’s fine. Really, he is. He doesn’t care that Ryan’s been dating someone. Why would he?

_ “Thought I saw you at the bus stop,  _

_ I didn’t though.” _

Shane doesn’t ride the bus much, but he had to get to the office one weekend and it was the easiest way. As he walked up to the stop, he saw a short man with dark hair wearing a hoodie. Before he could say anything, though, the man turned and the face wasn’t right. 

Not Ryan. 

Shane felt his face fall. He sat on the bench and pulled out his phone, not reading any of the tweets he was scrolling through.

_ “I hit the ground running each night. _

_ I hit the Sunday matinee. _

_ You know the greatest films of all time were never made.” _

Shane has always run at night, when it’s cooler. Lately, he’s been running faster, as though his feet hitting the pavement will be enough to block out his thoughts. 

He’s been seeing movies alone. He and Ryan used to catch a movie some weekends, but Ryan’s been seeing movies with someone else now.

Shane remembers a time hanging out with Ryan at his place. They were planning out a blockbuster movie they would make together. 

“Sci-fi action has been done so many times, though,” Ryan noted.

“Yeah, so we need a good gimmick,” Shane explained, grabbing another beer from the fridge. “Something… something about hot dogs.”

Ryan groaned, but Shane could see the amusement on his face. “Not another Hot Daga.”

“Oh! We could make Hot Daga: the Movie!”

Ryan rubbed his hand over his eyes. “No. No way. I veto that.”

“I can see the poster now!”

“Would it be animated hot dogs, or humans playing all the roles?”

Shane thought for a moment, sitting next to Ryan on the couch. “Humans, but there’s a hot dog in almost every scene.”

Ryan rolled his eyes. “Yeah. Sure. You should try to get Bradley Cooper to play Brandon.”

Shane grinned. “It’ll be the best movie ever.”

“Or something,” Ryan said smiling.

_ That smile could light up a room _ , Shane thought. 

_ “I guess you never know, never know. _

_ And if you wanted me you really should’ve showed. _

_ And if you never bleed, you’re never gonna grow, _

_ And it’s alright now.” _

Shane thought that Ryan might have had feelings for him, but he was going to let Ryan be the one to breach that subject. The younger man was better at talking about feelings, anyways. 

Goes to show how much Shane knows about love. He never was good at picking up signals, never knowing if someone liked him or not 

He’s gonna be alright, though. He’ll move on.

_ “But we were something, don't you think so? _

_ Roaring twenties tossing pennies in the pool. _

_ And if my wishes came true, _

_ It would’ve been you.” _

Shane remembers being at a hotel on a Supernatural shoot, back towards the beginning. He had just turned thirty, Ryan was twenty-five. They were at some cruddy motel because that was all the budget could afford.

They sat out next to the pool late into the night, just talking. Shane always thought it was amazing that he and Ryan never ran out of things to talk about despite spending so much time together. 

At one point they got to the subject of wishes. 

“Too bad there’s no shooting stars tonight,” Ryan mused looking up at the sky. He had his feet in the swimming pool, leaned back on his hands. “I could make a wish.”

Shane thought for a moment and pulled a couple of coins out of his pocket. 

“Here you go. Old Polish tradition. Toss a penny in water and make a wish.”

Ryan smiled and looked at him funny. “Why do I get the feeling you just made that up?”

Shane smirked. “Me? Make something up? Never,” he said sarcastically.

Ryan took a penny from his hand, and Shane didn’t think at all about how warm the smaller man’s hands were. Not at all.

“Guess it can’t hurt,” Ryan said. He closed his eyes for a moment, and Shane watched him think. 

After a moment Ryan opened his eyes. “Okay, got mine. Ready?”

Shane nodded. “Three, two, one.”

They tossed the pennies into the pool at the same time. 

“What’d you wish for?” Ryan asked.

_ You. _

“Can’t say. Then it won’t come true.”

_ “In my defense I have none _

_ For never leaving well enough alone. _

_ But it would’ve been fun, _

_ If you would’ve been the one.” _

Shane and Ryan never fought. They bickered on camera, “like an old married couple” their friends would say, but never actually fought. They were both too conflict avoidant. 

Shane knew it was his fault. Knew he should’ve just left it. But Ryan was late to work the third time that week, and obviously hadn’t come from his apartment.

“At least you have your priorities sorted,” Shane muttered bitterly.

He didn’t expect Ryan to hear him, but he did. 

“What was that?”

Shane should have backed down. Shouldn’t have kept going. He didn’t have any good reason for it. “I said you’ve got your priorities sorted. You were supposed to finish editing Weekly two days ago. Have you even slept in your bed this week?”

Ryan looked like he had just been punched. “What does it matter, Shane? It’s none of your business.”

“Yeah, it is. Literally. This is  _ our _ business. I don’t want your relationships or whatever to get in the way of that!” 

Ryan looked at him for a long moment before standing up and leaving.

Shane felt his heart break as he watched him. 

_ “I have this dream you’re doing cool shit, _

_ Having adventures on your own. _

_ You meet some woman on the internet _

_ And take her home.” _

Shane has a recurring dream about Ryan filming Unsolved without him. The fans still love it, Shane has long felt that Ryan was the true draw of the show, and he was just there to help him shine brighter. 

In this dream, Ryan gets scared at all the locations, and Shane wishes he were there to help him calm down. 

In this dream, Ryan always goes back home to his girlfriend, and Shane always jerks awake. He doesn’t cry. But he does think about it.

_ “We never painted by the numbers, babe, _

_ But we were making it count. _

_ You know the greatest loves of all time  _

_ are over now.” _

Shane remembered once filming True Crime. 

“Can we do something how we’re supposed to for  _ once _ ?” TJ pleaded from behind the camera.

Shane and Ryan ignored him, going off on some tangent or another, and had started trying to impersonate each other. It went on for way too long, but they always did that.

“Hi, I’m Shane, I’m freakishly tall and don’t think ghosts are real,” Ryan said in a goofy caricature of Shane’s voice.

“Hi, I’m Ryan, I’m tiny but I have muscles and any noise I hear is probably a demon!” Shane said in a high pitched voice that made Ryan cackle. 

“That’s not at  _ all  _ what I sound like.” Ryan looked over at Devon. “You guys have to leave this in the episode, the viewers will love it.”

After filming, he and Ryan went to get some food and were going on another tangent, talking about celebrity break ups.

“It seems like all the good relationships come to an end,” Ryan mused.

Shane shrugged. “Maybe.”

_ “I guess you never know, _

_ Never know. _

_ And it’s another day waking up alone.” _

Shane woke up and started his day alone in his apartment. He wasn’t dreading seeing Ryan again. Why would he? They were civil. 

He was dreading it.

_ “I persist and resist the temptation to ask you _

_ If one thing had been different, _

_ Would everything be different today?” _

Shane watches Ryan in the office, careful to look away when he thinks Ryan might look up. 

_ What if I hadn’t pushed it? What if he never met her? What if I spoke up about how I feel earlier? _

He knew, deep down, that it didn’t matter.

Ryan was happy. Ryan was happy with someone other than Shane.

Shane was fine.

_ “We were something, don't you think so? _

_ Rosé flowing with your chosen family. _

_ And it would’ve been sweet _

_ If it could’ve been me. _

_ In my defense I have none _

_ For digging up the grave another time. _

_ But it would’ve been fun _

_ If you would’ve been _

_ The one.” _

Shane remembered a party with the Unsolved crew. He and Ryan were rarely wallflowers at these, but this time they found themselves by the snack table watching their friends try and open a bottle. 

“This is fun,” Shane said fondly.

“Yeah. We did something good, didn’t we?”

Shane smiled, and looked down at his friend. “You know, I’m glad I joined the show. These guys, I feel like you’re my family now. It’s made being so far from home easier.”

Ryan nodded. “I feel the same way, brother.”

Shane knew he could have brought up how he felt then. Looking at Ryan’s sparkling eyes, his slight flush at the heat of the small room with all the people in it laughing, his hair still styled perfectly.

_ Not tonight. _

_ Another time. _

Shane looks at the picture from that night that he has framed on his shelf. There wasn’t another time. 

He felt a tear well up. 

“It would’ve been fun,” he mused.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think!
> 
> Edit: The next work in this series, "Only Just A Dream," is the happy ending to this, because I cannot leave anything on a sad ending.


End file.
